I am a moron

Crazy old day- hit the trees too hard last night and woke up late to the dulcet tones of my ex-wife ringing up to tell me I should have been around ten minutes ago to look after the girl- joy.
Seeing as I just finished law school and my professional training, I have decided to go back to the kitchen where I feel more comfortable- Job interview today at a local and sleazy pub, where tattooed drug fiends with drinking problems feel a lot more in their milieu slinging hash than they ever will in the law-courts. Cooks are all fucked up- keep that in mind next time you order a meal.
My surreal relationship with my engaged broad seems to be going pretty well. We share a common interest in highly erotic sex sans emotional connection, and she seems to be astonishingly smart- good vocab anyway, and a bit of a reader, which is good and rare these days.
My poor lab-rat flatmates are still trying to compute the scene they were exposed to during the weekend. Engaged Broad and her fiance came to stay for the night, and we had a good old party with the usual suspects turning up (except the filth man- since I half seduced his wife he has been uncharacteristically absent)and the next morning the three of us sat around drinking coffee and having a raucous good time in the kitchen. Every now and then one of the rats (who all rather suspect that En. Broad and I are having an affair) would creep by, eyes spinning like tops as they tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. Keep the fuckers off balance, that's my motto.
The only downside to a rather excellent week-end was a lack of sex on sunday, but even that was tempered by the savage pleasure of flirting with rat no.1's girlfriend for about two hours on Saturday night while he sat and watched in what Jim would call mute nostril agony- ratty even jerked her out of the room by her elbow at one point and had a few harsh words with her, after which she came back in, sat down with me and recommenced proceedings- I do enjoy being a swine.
Well, wish me luck for the job interview- I can't quite decide whether taking my knives along would be interpreted as a sign of dedication or mental instability- I'll let you know.